OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
