..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
