I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
In other news, I just burned my penis
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
