I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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