what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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