I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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