he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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