Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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