I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY