I'm pants shitting drunk right now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.