Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That's what I'm talking about
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire