Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  so... i had sex tonight

  (906): View more from Michigan

  with a midget

  (906): View more from Michigan

  nicccce tits for a little person

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  (906): so... i had sex tonight (906): with a midget (906): nicccce tits for a little person http://tfl.nu/2uyc
  Replies (1) Good night (1550) Bad night (770)
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  (818): View more from California

  She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?

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  (818): She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs? http://tfl.nu/4vl4
  Replies (74) Good night (987) Bad night (6402)
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  (310): View more from California

  Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?

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  (310): Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too? http://tfl.nu/j0i5
  Replies (57) Good night (1348) Bad night (3934)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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  (303): I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete. http://tfl.nu/q4l5
  Replies (19) Good night (4822) Bad night (1322)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

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  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1334) Bad night (3920)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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  (845): You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately. http://tfl.nu/vwdv
  Replies (9) Good night (5794) Bad night (1242)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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  (740): I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/4f6m
  Replies (8) Good night (1145) Bad night (2429)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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  (309): I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar. http://tfl.nu/nec2
  Replies (8) Good night (3719) Bad night (904)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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  (812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1440) Bad night (827)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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  (913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv
  Replies (8) Good night (1676) Bad night (654)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.

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  (61): You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/yu51
  Replies (3) Good night (1142) Bad night (457)
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  (387): View more from

  The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?

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  (387): The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them? http://tfl.nu/qjyv
  Replies (11) Good night (1538) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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  (813): I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass http://tfl.nu/xapu
  Replies (7) Good night (1063) Bad night (503)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night

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  (630): I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night http://tfl.nu/xbyl
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (308)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it

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  (712): just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it http://tfl.nu/b5pe
  Replies (4) Good night (372) Bad night (125)

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