Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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  (248): Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back? http://tfl.nu/so4j
  Replies (10) Good night (867) Bad night (1575)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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  (503): I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon. http://tfl.nu/wp82
  Replies (49) Good night (5737) Bad night (741)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

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  (330): I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included. http://tfl.nu/hd7g
  Replies (32) Good night (6524) Bad night (848)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

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  (561): I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date http://tfl.nu/ynms
  Replies (29) Good night (14636) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too

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  (920): No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too http://tfl.nu/6mfg
  Replies (7) Good night (2930) Bad night (1007)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

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  (908): The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one. http://tfl.nu/8bgn
  Replies (3) Good night (3099) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.

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  (509): Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25. http://tfl.nu/jw4t
  Replies (5) Good night (1945) Bad night (792)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (833)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.

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  (801): Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/nznf
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (1880)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.

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  (440): Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved. http://tfl.nu/v30q
  Replies (3) Good night (1734) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

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  (978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak
  Replies (23) Good night (1960) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.

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  (989): Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/ngc6
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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  (614): your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night http://tfl.nu/piwn
  Replies (6) Good night (939) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1697) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (302)

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