You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
