belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he just fucked me for my cheese.