i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
