check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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