Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
