this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
