I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
