Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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