Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
