Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
