I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
