i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
