I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
