You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
