yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
