First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize