remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
zippers are such a cool invention
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
