Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
