I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
is wine microwaveable?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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