He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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