Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
