I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
