dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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