I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize