i don't like sucking hair
oh god the rape fog is back!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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