I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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