...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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