sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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