we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
