Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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