im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
