i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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