I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
