He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize