i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
