Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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