the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
