So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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