all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
