I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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