we made out on top of his cat.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
