yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize