if you like me you must not know who I am
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
