The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
