he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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