just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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