I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
be right there i have to get my cape
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
