At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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