I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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