He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
