walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
