no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
