Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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